Life and improvisation...

Tonight was another one of those nights.
My mind is all boggled.
I occupy it with my future.
What I am realizing is that I am future-obsessive.
I am not gaining anything from this obsession though.
Because I am missing out on now.
This very moment.
At this rate, I will never look back on my life when I'm on my death bed.
I will only be thinking of what will happen the next day.
The next week.
The next year.
And I won't even be there.

I'm tired of thinking about what will happen to me in the future.
I'm tired of trying to set goals.
I'm tired of trying to make a plan.
My life doesn't need a plan.
That's not how I operate.

I'd rather just improvise.