Totally fucking sweet!

Here's a random flashback: A while back, time and again, I would be walking to class or whatever and would come across a guy with no legs in a wheelchair, leaving the Saddlemire building. He was always well-dressed and carried around a binder. Now it can't be avoided... people either look at the site of him or they turn their heads, trying to make it look as if they didn't see him in the first place. Now, I don't want to sound obtuse, but I would look at him for a couple seconds, look away and just appreciate the legs I have because I'm sure that that guy just wants people to not take things for granted. So carpe diem and whatnot.

So, anyways, today I had an appointment at the university career center to get some help deciding a new major for myself. The lady at the desk told me that my advisor, Tom, was going to be a few minutes late, so I hung out for a couple minutes, not really knowing what to expect from the meeting or what they expected of me. I wondered what kind of person Tom would be, whether he'd be a tall, stern look-of-death kind of guy or the hopeful, light-hearted noble kind of a guy that's very easy to talk to. Oh, I so prayed for the latter.

Well, a few minutes passed by, and in comes that same guy I was talking about earlier, wheeling himself right to me for an introduction. He had a firm handshake and apologized for keeping me waiting. Nicest guy in the world. Thank God!

Tom has a gift. I don't know how he read me today, but it was like he was a mindreader or something. He broke things down for me so that I understood what it is I love doing. We talked about why I dropped my education major and why I took it in the first place, ultimately discovering that teaching really isn't for me. It's not that I wouldn't be a good teacher, it's just that I wouldn't be a happy teacher.

He asked me some personal things, like what I do for fun. I told him that I enjoy playing piano. Well, we talked about it for a while and it came down to the fact that I am not cut out to be a professional musician. I mean, I should do what Beth has been telling me to do after all (and what I've told myself several times in the past): Music will always be a fun pasttime for me, but I shouldn't spoil the fun-ness of it by turning it into work.

So we eliminated the music thing. Then Tom asked me about some of my other hobbies. I told him I really like editing videos and adding music to them just for fun. Then he brought up a major to me that sort of stuck out in my mind: Visual Communications Technology. VCT is basically a program that I can get involved in doing something I really enjoy: editing videos, whether it be for the sake of expression, art, or even commercialism. Plus, I could entwine my musical abilities into it if I really wanted to, PLUS, through VCT, I could be a storyteller that I've been wanting to become for so long!

I still have a little bit of research to do before I declare VCT as my major, but I feel like I have lots of potential for it. I am really excited to learn about what it's all about.

There is a downside, however. If I should declare VCT as my major, I will definately be serving a 5th year of college in order to get my degree. However, I am willing to take up the challenge. I have to right an old wrong, as they say.

The upsides:

1: I get to do what I enjoy doing.
2: Their aren't many "classroom-oriented" courses, as most of the VCT program is accomplished through co-op, which means I would be spending most of my out-of-classroom time doing real-time work, gaining real-work experience, and making a bit of real-work money ;)
3. I get to do what I enjoy doing!!!

So, this whole get-up got me up good! I can't wait!!!!!!

Super-duper-ultimate-extreme ping pong...

Well, Darrow had its first fire drill tonight, so I made my way over to the HCD lobby to play piano for a couple hours. Serendipity set in and I met up with my right-hand man Luke and we hit up Destinations for junk food. We talked a bit and I once again felt alive outside of my room. It's nice to get back on the social track (but I still love my cool video games!)

We shot some pool with crappy equipment, then played ping pong. Not just ordinary ping pong though... But also fat-people ping pong - where we play while sitting in chairs - and extreme ping pong - which we just made up ourselves. We find a whole bunch of different ways to hit the ball off of random objects in the room and give them great epithetical names like "The clergyman" and "The ejaculator." It was crazy and hilarious and fun all in one bundle!

Now we're chilling at the HCD computer lab cause Luke's roomie's asleep. 'Tis a fun evening though... Check out this hilarious vid I just found on YouTube! This kid is crazy! (And I haven't even heard it yet because I don't have headphones, but the video alone was enough to get me to die-hard laugh!)

What happened today? I missed it....

Wow, I am such an over-sleeper. I woke up at 4:00, missed both my classes. I feel like I'm becoming so careless lately. I mean, I think at least 60% of the reason why I've been acting like this so much lately is because of all my new cool classic video games, but still... I gotta wake up and pay attention.

But damn, those games are addictive. I played Bust-a-Move for quite some time and I even started getting into Lemmings, which is just awesome. But there is more to my life than these games, and I have to wake up and pay attention.

It kind of sucks though... I don't know what I want to get out of college anymore. I kind of regret going in the first place sometimes. I mean, I guess maybe I had greater expectations. I thought things would just flow for me... But I've done nothing but float about.

I feel like a lazy duck on the surface of the ocean. Though waves all around me move me up and down, I'm getting nowhere because I am not kicking my feet. But I feel so far out into the middle of the ocean that I don't see the point in swimming.

Okay, I have to stop being so metaphorical.

Ugh....

Sweetness...

This is awesome! Last night I downloaded some game emulators on my PC. Nintendo, SNES, and Sega Genesis! Haha! I now have some of my favorite childhood games right on my hard drive to play whenever I want! (Except Zelda and Mario games... which are harder to find for free...) I even have Bust-a-Move! Yessssssss!

Okay, gotta bolt!

Weekend closure...

Well, Beth went home and I just got done playing piano for a couple hours. I missed out on Harry Potter with some friends tonight, but I'm sure they'll understand.

So I haven't really been on the computer in a while and I'm kind of glad about that. The Internet is fun, but it makes me weak! haha!

I think I actually have a lot to say right now, but I'm just not in the mood to type shit. I think I warped my mind out playing piano just a bit ago, so I think I will get some grub from the Shadows and play some Nintendo 64! Hell's yeah!

The Story of Us...

Well, Beth and I are having a great time so far. She's sound asleep right now, so I thought I'd write up a quick entry.

I'd really like to talk about a movie we borrowed from the front desk. Well, I wanted to rent Saw, but someone had already taken that one out. So we got a movie I remember Beth saying that she wanted to see a long time ago called The Story of Us, starring Bruce Willis and Michelle Pfieffer. My first impression of the movie is that it was just another cutesy-wootsy chick flick with a catchy storyline and whatnot. However, after watching the enitre movie, I can't express how utterly amazing it was! One of the best things about it (among many other good things) was one of the character's philosophy that everything in life is simply an illusion.

Think about it: when I bend over in front of you and tell you to take a look and tell me what you see, you'd first of all be a little freaked out about me doing this. But once I insisted that you tell me what you see, you would say you see my ass.

However, you only think you see my ass. In all actuality, you are really only seeing layers of skin, body fat, and muscle tissue that make up the tops of my legs that just happen to be butted together (hence the word "butt")! Fucking brilliant concept!

I suggest that if you haven't yet seen this movie that you do so. It's not only a chick flick, but a good chick flick. (And yeah, I'll admit to getting a little teary-eyed at the end... But hey, I'm proud to be a person capable of a wide range of emotions... So ha!)

Alright, I'm gonna spend some more time with my ever-so-gorgeous Sleeping Beauty now. Catcha later!

Open Mic Night...

So last night actually turned out to be fun! I finally got some of my originals heard and just hung out with a lot of cool people! Here're some pics (and not very good ones)...

Just me...


I didn't get their names, but these girls were pretty good!


Hey Rikki! LOL! The BEST RA ever!


Max... This guy had some really funny originals! It was great!


John (sp?).... This dude was amazing! He's only been playing for 2 years and his style is fantastic!


I didn't get her name either, but she was awesome! She brought in her bagpipes and played "Scotland, the Brave" (and sang it too!) The audience loved it!


Sorry, no pics of me performing (which is probably a good thing! I bet I look really weird when I sing!) And I'm also sorry that the quality is so crappy. I need a new cam someday.

Well, I have to get a shower in and clean my room before Beth gets here! Happy Thursday people!

Blog-hogging...

I'm being a blog-whore today, but I thought I'd mention that I have impromptively asked to provide keyboard services to an open mic night that my RA is hosting tonight down in the lobby.

Now I am not trying to be hesitative about it, but I really think my keyboard should have nothing to do with live performance. Sure, it's gotten me pretty far in my recording experience, but I just don't think other people will enjoy playing my keyboard more than they would playing an actual piano.

The mic night starts at 9:30, but I think between now and then, I am going to see if Rikki and I can get someone in the Arts Village to let us use their acoustic upright piano. (Though I kind of doubt they'd allow us to, but it never hurts to ask...)

So anyways, I think I have prepared a couple songs to sing tonight. "The Scientist" by Coldplay and maybe a few originals that I've worked on a while back (and of course, some Nintendo jams.)

I just hope we can get a real piano instead my toy....

Alex Merced's Super Happy Fun Band....

Haha! I just came across an old myspace account of a "band" that I had last semester with my former roommate Alex Merced and my current roommate Tyler Jones! Alex Merced's Super Happy Fun Band!

Basically, one night we were all chilling at Alex's room and we picked up some cheap keyboards, his guitar, a couple egg shakers, and a plastic bottle and just started wailing on them like a clan of underwater sea monsters trapped in a box in the middle of the Sahara Desert! It was a fun night... And we weren't even drunk! Haha! Check it out and add us as your friend! ('Cause true friends are Myspace friends!)

Happy hump day...

Wednesday... is the middle of the week!

Hey people! So last night I watched through The Last Man on Earth. It was pretty badass. Of course, I know I said I'd watch the entire thing without sound, but I couldn't resist turning up the volume in some parts. (Though it wasn't hard at all to follow with no sound on...)

Vincent Price is fantastic. His voice is creepy. I'm surprised they made him a protagonist! But, just for fun, last night I made a Rob Zombie-ish type jam using two samples from the movie. Please head over to my Purevolume page and give a listen! It's short and repetitive, but just fun to jam to if you like those Zombie mixes you hear on his Hellbilly Deluxe CD!

So over spring break I took upon myself to get Beth a new promise ring because her old one fell apart. It turns our she found a pic of the exact ring online last night (she doesn't have it right now because it is getting re-sized.)

So, for all of you who are curious, this is what it looks like:

Well, I gotta get ready for class here in a bit, so catch ya'll later!

New Project...

Well, I've decided to do something quite challenging with all my free time (or at least when I get free time.) I am going to do some movie scoring for films that have already been made.

I know it sounds weird, but I think it'd be nice training to see if film composing is really what I'd be good at doing. Of course, the movies I am re-scoring are vinatge films. The first one I plan to work on is Calendar Girl. It's an old romance musical about a songwriter who finds out that his girlfriend is going to be an artist's model.



The other movie I plan to re-score is a horror film called The Last Man On Earth, starring the one-and-only, Vincent Price (the guy who played the inventor in Edward Scissorhands... Fantastic actor... at least, he was...) It's pretty self-explanatory about what that movie's about.



It'll take me forever to write music for these features... I have to watch them, first of all. And I've never seen them before. I am going to watch them without any sound. That way, when I score them, I can compare what I've done to the original music (I'm sure there will be HUGE differences, considering my style and time period, but I just think it'd be interesting to do things this way...)

Yeah, so I have weird hobbies... As for now, I'm going down to the lobby to study.

Whoops...

Well, I slept in a bit today. I'm trying to wake up before or at 9:00 from now on, but it's really hard to get into that habit sometimes (especially when there's a cool show on the Travel channel about the world's newest and best rollercoasters... I love those shows.)

But it's a good thing my class doesn't start till 4:00 today. Haha.

I'm still in a pretty good mood. It feels nice to be out of a headache. Of course, my room's a little messy and I have a shitload of laundry, but it'll all get done.

I was looking at Facebook of all the people who I use to go to school with at St. Henry. It's amazing how much some people have changed! It makes me very nostaligic....

Just more words...

Well, I'm back from the meditation workshop. It was actually kind of nice. It was fun walking through campus with my pillow. Haha.

Seriously though, being the only male at the workshop made me feel very much like a feminist. But you know what, I didn't feel any shame at all. In fact, I felt privileged. I got to take a half-hour power nap. I learned some techniques in keeping balance in everyday life and stress at a minimum. And I got to try lots of lotion products! I think Beth would love some of the stuff I tried (haha! Just what she needs... more lotions!)

So anyways, as my evening comes closer to conclusion, I can say I had a good day. Of course, I do have one complaint: It's the first day of spring and fucking coldddddd!!!!! Grrrr!

But hey, it was worth the good day I've had. I think I will be getting more involved with campus activities. It gets me out more and I feel a bigger sense of accomplishment in doing such things. As for now, I'm out.

Good day, good day...

Today has gone great. Got some good counseling. Got my speech done (and did fairly well at that... Just a few minor things.) And I don't have astronomy. So I'm just chilling and taking things easy. I think only like 5 other people are doing that mediation workshop thing tonight, but it should still be fun. And useful.

Now before I jinx it, today sucked... haha!

And Beth comes up on Thursday! YAY! She can watch my speech video with me and laugh at how dumb I look! LOL!

Ttyl peeps!

Tell me why...

I don't like Mondays. But today is off to a good start so far.

I still had my headache this morning, but I went to the store at 7:00 and got me some Excedrin. That made me feel tons better. Then I ate breakfast and hung out a bit at the Union. I signed up for a how-to workshop on relaxing and meditating for tonight. That should be interesting.

Counseling was good. Mainly they just had me confess all my issues so they could figure out where to place me. So next week Monday I'll be going to a stress management clinic and soon they will get me an official counselor who will get more into therapy. I'm excited. It's nice to get help from some professionals.

I also made a new, cheesy song based on my former roomie, Alex Merced. It's just a quirky song I made for him to strut around town to. Haha! You can check it out at my purevolume site.

I shaved my goatee today. I hate doing that, but the hairs were hurting my headache (I know it sounds weird, but sometimes prickly chin hair can be a bother...)

Now I have to prepare myself for a speech about landing on the moon. I shoulda done another topic... Something I'd actually have to do research for. I have too much previous knowledge on the Apollo missions due to my nerdiness. But I'll find some sources to back me up.

Just ramblings...

I'm sitting here, freshly showered, watching Forest Gump while I stare into a field of junk food and game cartridges scattered across my floor. I've spent the entire day trying to get rid of my headache. I have no medicine, so the best method I have to remedy my headache was to distract myself from it.

I played frisbee with a couple guys who live on my floor earlier. My RA Rikki asked me if I wanted to play, so I did. I didn't have anything better to do... Well, other than work on my speech. So I learned a few new techniques on throwing a disc and just had a good time for a little bit.

After that, I just came back to my room and watched Big and some television.

And now here I am, writing meaningless words on webspace that only few people read. And who really wants to read stuff about me? I should talk about something more interesting like politics or theoretical physics.

I'm trying to figure myself out. I've noticed recently that I have no leadership skills whatsoever. I wonder if I ever will. I mean, in hindsight, I've never taken lead in anything in my life. I always just let other people run me over. I'm too nice sometimes. And it's folks like me who usually end up working for the Man. That sucks. I wonder if I can ask my counselor for some leadership skills advice.

And I need to start being more aggressive. I usually don't let a lot of things bother me because I don't want to get involved in conflicts and unnecessary drama. I don't want to turn out to be a dickhead either. But I certainly don't want to work for the Man.

Man, I have issues....

Sunday headache...

Woke up with a headache today. Maybe I drink too much root beer.

Holy shit! I just saw a funny-ass commercial! I hope I can find it on YouTube!
...(looks for commercial on youtube)....
Damn! Not on there. Must be a brand new commercial. Oh well.

AMC is a great movie channel. I've been watching it since last night, through my sleep and everything. Office Space is on next, and Big is on at 5:45 and 8:00.

But I need a shower and body fuel now.

Personality Test...

Pretty accurate for the most part. Few flaws.

Advanced Global Personality Test Results Extraversion 20% Stability 33% Orderliness 23% Accommodation 56% Interdependence 43% Intellectual 63% Mystical 70% Artistic 90% Religious 36% Hedonism 16% Materialism 63% Narcissism 23% Adventurousness 63% Work ethic 10% Self absorbed 30% Conflict seeking 23% Need to dominate 30% Romantic 76% Avoidant 30% Anti-authority 83% Wealth 10% Dependency 50% Change averse 50% Cautiousness 56% Individuality 76% Sexuality 90% Peter pan complex 90% Physical security 56% Physical Fitness 64% Histrionic 30% Paranoia 43% Vanity 70% Hypersensitivity 56% Female cliche 43%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

I got this from a friend's site...

I'm a radical for homosexual rights. Even though I'm straight, I grew up with a gay brother and a gay friend. This is hilarious...

Gay Marriage 10 Reasons Why Gay Marriage is Wrong

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage would be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

(one of the saddest parts about our society is that, these arguments, before the humorous common sense, are the real reasons why people can't accept gay marriages.)

Relationships...

"We all got 'em.
We all want 'em.
What do ya do with 'em?

She said you gotta do your fair share
Now cough up half the rent
I treat my body like a temple
You treat yours like a tent
But the right word at the right time
May get me a little hug
That's the difference between lightning
And a harmless lightnin' bug"

Damnit Jimmy Buffet... you nail that one on the head....

Relax...

I got some food and a shower in. I also looked around online at some keyboards and more importantly, synth stacks. I found a pretty decent keyboard and stack used by a small film composer named Chris George . Check out his paraphenalia:

His keys...


This is priced at about $500, but I found a used one on sale at Amazon.com for $350....

His stack...

This tiny box contains all those wonderful, realistic orchestral voices (with an expansion board.) The stack alone is about $250. The orchestral expansion board he uses is an extra $100. But man, it so seems worth the price... Listen to what he does with it!

Drama demo
Composed by Chris George


I kind of just feel like relaxing tonight. I need to conserve some energy. I might write again later....

Finding purpose...

Everyday, I don't do shit.

I feel so underaccomplished right now that I don't even know where to start. In high school, I always thought I had myself figured out. I thought that once I got into college, I would be able to be my true self openly. People in high school didn't understand me. Well, most of them probably could understand me, but they just never tried.

But I was alright with that. I knew that once I got out of Coldwater, I would find a place that I fit in. I would just hang out with a bunch of creative people like I thought I was and we would just work on a whole bunch of stuff together and have good times.

For the past two years, I don't think things really turned out like that. It always seems like it might come close, but I think I sort of let myself go with the whole idea. I got distracted by having to decided upon a list of majors and I had to give myself a new definition for being here. It sucked. If only I'd get into that music. But I'm tired of what if's.

Now here I am, aimless with everything. I've become the laziest I've ever been. And even though I thought that I owe it to myself to be so apathetic, it really didn't ration out. All it did was make me weak.

I made an appointment for counseling for Monday. I don't really know why, I sort of did it on impulse. But I really think I need it. Just to get some guidance from someone other than myself. I mean, normally I would try to work out my own problems, but it's too risky for me to do that anymore. It's not like playing a video game so that when I screw up I can just reset to the beginning.

What I need to try to do, though, is teaching myself how to write music. Not just to sit down and record a piece, but really to get a pen and staff paper and write the music out note for note. And I can't worry about the notes lining up exactly and details like that. I just need to learn how to write music efficiently. I can always clean the kinks out later.

If I get really fast at notating good music, then I've got half the battle beat for becoming the film composer I've always wanted to be. I'm sure James Horner doesn't just sit at the piano all day coming up with themes. He even claims that he turns to pen and paper when composing music. I need to train myself to become that advanced in composing music.

Even if I don't compose for film, I could still make a career out of recording. Like Enya or Enigma or Yanni. (Of course, I will try to avoid scandals...)

As for now, I'm done with my self-disclosure. Until next time....

Today's story...

First of all, I stayed up all night last night. I told Beth I wouldn't, but once I stopped playing Pilot Wings, Bloodsport was on AMC. So I stayed up till 4:00 watching that. Then I got on my computer and worked on a new layout for my weblog (which I had saved at one point, but then lost it today because I pasted my Zelda layout over it and saved it by accident.)

Anyhoo, I got my schedule change form signed by my instructor and turned it in. I went to the library to work on my speech outline, but walked out of the building as quick as I walked in. I just didn't feel like doing real research and decided to bullshit my way through it at my dorm.

I took an hour nap, and I was awakened by a phone call from Jesse. Of course, I did want to chat with him, but I must still been at stage four in my sleep because I fell asleep while he was talking to me! It was really weird! I didn't even know I was sleeping. I heard him talking, then next thing I know my phone's beeping. It was like being hypnotized (or at least, what I've heard being hypnotized is like.)

I will call him back soon to catch up on what he was telling me. I felt horrible!

Then I finished my outline half-assed and walked to class with Kristen. I haven't really talked to her too much since I've known her, but she's very easy to make conversation with. She gave me some good advice today. To stop focusing on the little things right in front of me and to focus more on things ten feet ahead of me. And you know, that's good point. I think I worry about too much about little things and things that are further than my eye can see... I just need to focus on things more important than details and that are in my plain of view.

I'm listening to Enigma. I haven't listened to them in a long time, but it's always good to take a break. That way you can rediscover that original fire that burned when your first listen to good music.

And by the way, Happy St. Patrick's Day! I am not wearing green today. I am above the influence of my peers... hahaha!

Pac-Man...

This just needs the publicity!

Remember that movie I told you about...?

You know, that independent film based on the Legend of Zelda?
Well...

... CHECK. THIS. OUT!!!!!!!

Sigh of relief...

So my instructor has to decided to help me out tomorrow by showing up at her office. There is a god!

Today was kind of depressing. But it's good to have a guy like Luke around just to hang with. We watched Castle in the Sky tonight, which was amazing, as should be expected from Mr. Miyazaki. Let me find a couple nice screenshots:


After that, we watched the two first episodes of Cowboy Bebop, which I am quickly getting partial to. Spike Spiegel is just cool as fuck!
<<< Spike Spiegel, the nonchalant, charismatic protagonist... Chicks love him, dudes wanna be him... and he's a futuristic bounty hunter! What more could you ask for?

Well, I have a long day tomorrow because I slacked off today, so I'm out.

Damnit...

I e-mailed my education instructor today to see if we could appoint a time tomorrow for her to sign my schedule change form. Of course, as my life usually goes, I don't check to see if she replied until about 2:50, and she said that tomorrow won't work because her mother-in-law died, and that she will be in her office till no later than 3:00.

So I tried calling her office real quick... No answer. Then I sprinted clear across campus and arrived at her office at 3:03. She was gone.

Depressed, depressed, depressed. What the fuck. I think the world was designed to make me have such bad luck. I need a miracle. If I can't drop this course, my GPA is shot. Then my enitre college career is a waste.

I worry about the future too much. And I spend too much time on the damn computer. I hope things work out. I'm tired of chancing everything that comes my way.

On the lighter side, my math class was canceled. Thank God. I'd hate to have to go all the back across campus one more time in this freezing-ass weather.

I think I'm going to relax a bit now.

Trying to get organized...

So I think it's time for me to actually start focusing on getting my life organized. I hate to do that, but I think I need it. I talked to my mom earlier tonight about my decision to change my major. I told her that I'm still a little up in the air, but that I'm going to try do something with art or writing or sociology and minor in recording tech. She didn't seem too ecstatic about it, but I think she just worries about what kind of job I can get with a degree in such fields.

At the same rate, I am just happy to be out of the education department. Deep down inside, I know I would never make a good teacher.

So anyways, I just wanna get down to the basics of keeping myself from going entirely insane. Perhaps if I can get a good, regular sleeping schedule going and start working out and eating three meals a day, I might be little less depressed about things. So I'll work on those areas for the next few days.

Tonight I watched another Miyazaki movie with Luke. Nausicaä. A little different than most of his other features, but it still has great storytelling. It's a little sci-fi, and the soundtrack wasn't very consistent in style. But it's an 80's Jap film, so a super-duper score isn't to be guaranteed. However, there was a mute character, an old woman, and flying involved ;) and a plethora of creative concepts.



As for now, I think I will prepare myself for a conversation with Beth and then sleep. Tomorrow I have to do research over how the world was moonshot in the late 60's. Ugh...

The way it is...

I can't help but to overhear my roommate talk to his sister on the phone. It sounds like he's under lots of stress for the same reasons I usually am. The whole "what am I going to do with my future" thing. He's pop culture major, and I'm trying to get a degree in some kind of art or writing. The thing is with our majors, people will always expect us to be poor and starving in the real world. And for the most part, they're right.

Last night I got scared thinking about what lies in my future. I mean, I got freaked about how I am going to make a living doing what I love. It seems to me that if you wanna do what you love as work, the sacrifice is money. Of course, that property has been defied by people like James Horner and Steven Spielberg and Hayao Miyazaki.

But really, it all comes down to focusing on my work, finding a purpose for it, and making it sellable. I really hope I can make things happen and not starve my family for it...

Tuesday's gone...

So, I just got in. I hung out with Luke again tonight. He got another Miyazaki movie, My Neighbor, Totoro. It was pretty sweet. It had all the Miyazaki elements: wooded environments, an old lady, a mute character, lots of water... but best of all -- A cat-bus!

Hahaha! Hellz yeah!

My day was rather slow today. I pretty much just worked on getting Beth's blog designed. I made an OC theme, but I will continue working on more themes for the future. Right now I'm liking my Zelda theme, but I'd like to design a Miyazaki theme, maybe a music theme, and whatever else comes to mind.

After hanging out with Luke, I played piano for about 3 hours. I just played everything I knew. I had a couple people listening while they did their homework, so I figured I'd continue till I grew tired of it.

I don't think I should play any music tomorrow, because I'd like to save some creative gas for Thursday. Luke and I are starting on ideas for projects on Thursday, and I don't want to be drained by then.

As for now, sleep awaits, as does tomorrow. I get to drop my music for middle childhood class. I don't mind though. It was a pretty elementary class for a subject of which I have an extended knowledge.

Making a detour...

I just got back from meeting with my advisor. Good news: I'm NOT majoring in education anymore! Yay! I think I'm actually going to look into majoring in either art or some kind of creative writing and minor in recording technology. I'm really looking forward to the change! It sucks going to school to do something you're not so passionate about. And I think that's why I've been so depressed lately. I'm just not made out to be a teacher.

Soo kudos, kudos, and more kudos to me! And haha! The shitters are open today! Thank God! My hygiene can have some attention once again!

What an awesome Tuesday! But it'll probably only get worse as the day goes on (I say that to avoid jinxing anything...)

Cheers!

New Zelda Look...

Well, Beth will be upset with me! hehehe! I gotta get some rest here in a bit, but I can write a bit before I hit it off.

Yesterday was great. The weather was nice, I got some skateboarding in, and I chilled with Luke. Of course, the temperature dropped as the wonderful BG winds entered the region. I hate cold weather. I think it's the reason why I get so depressed. I mean, I was in great mood all day yesterday! But I know that once I step outside today to go to class, I'll get pissed.

And it wouldn't be so bad, but once I got back home from Luke's, I planned on taking my shower. But as I got closer to the bathroom door, I noticed a big sign covering the keypad lock that said "Bathroom out of order!"

What the fuck! I asked Rikki about it and he said maintenance closed it up in order to teach the fags that keep clogging the toilets a lesson.

I understand why they would go about such a punishment, but I'd really like to take a fucking shower! C'mon people!

Okay, time to go to bed. Hope you all like the new look!

A new lil diddy...

So I stayed up all night and recorded another piece. Of course, during the recording, my soundcard was fucking up, so cracks and chirps are heard in parts of the second half. But I'm not out to make this recording a number one best-seller, I just had a new theme come on to me.

I have not yet titled this piece, but I think I am going to save it for a character in one of mine and Luke's stories that we've yet to come up with. So for now, I am code-naming the piece "Character 1." Feel free to download the piece from my MySpace account and my Purevolume account!

Let me know what you all think!

Let's begin, shall we...

So I am all about change now. I am no longer going to type one sentence per line. And I am thinking about changing my major to something I actually want to do rather than teaching. Time to catch up...

Okay, so Beth got me all hooked on the OC. Which is a great show and I'm happy to have gotten hooked. Seth Cohen is fucking hilarious. Makes a great role model. So I bought a skateboard on impulse Sunday night. Should be fun to learn.

Tonight, I hung out once again with my good buddy Luke, and we watched another masterpiece by the Great Hayao Miyazaki called Howl's Moving Castle. Fucking amazing in every dynamic that animated features have to offer. Here's a badass screenshot...

Yes, it's about a castle that walks! Isn't that the most genuwine idea for a story?!

So, there are still three more features Luke and I have yet to view together of Miyazaki's mastery. Nothing like some good inspiration for a creative duo that Luke and I plan to upkeep...

So far, it feels refreshing to be back at la escuela de BG. I got a cool new skateboard. Luke and I are soon going to get our project kicked off to a start. I'm looking forward to changing my major and perhaps an extra year at college. Things with Beth and I are going smoothly. Spring is right around the bend.... everything is generally great (knock on wood!)

But I ain't gonna leave you all empty-handed... Check out this awesome vid I discovered on YouTube! (Oh! I love YouTube!)

A couple sketches...

So I've been trying to get back into my hobby of drawing.
It's been a while, but I thought I'd post up a couple sketches I made, one last fall of myself.
The other is of Beth, which I did just a couple days ago while she was sick with the flu.
Here they are:

Took me like 3 hours to finish the shading on her upper lip....
Haha.
Napoleon Dynamite!

Just a quickie...

First of all, if have not yet seen my movie "Into the West," please scroll down to the previous entry in order to view it.
The ending is the best part ;)

Also, this morning I found even a little more time on my hands to make my first stop-animation.
I used nothing but Paint and Windows Movie Maker.
Of course the music is mine!
It's a really really short clip!
But hey, it's my first time!

Into the west...

So tonight I finally got to see the ending to Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
Great film.
Great story.
Yet Luke and I both agree that even though Jim Carrey delivered great acting in this movie, the character was screaming for Bill Murray's expertise ;)


I also watched Princess Mononoke, which is yet another awesome anime by Hayao Miyazaki.
I never really got into anime before I knew Luke, but now I think I am finding a serious interest in it.
It's always good to exercise an open mind by trying new things.

Tomorrow, I return home for spring break.
Luke was kind enough to offer me a ride halfway there and Beth and her mom, Lori, will bring me the rest of the way.
I really need a car.
But first, I need a bigger, more advanced synthesizer.
I love making music.

I also love making short slideshow movies.
Here is one I made tonight.
It is a show of my trip to the west last summer.
Featuring my newest piece, Rise of the Sun, as the underlying score ;)
Unfortunately, YouTube only uploaded the audio in mono, not stereo.
But hopefully, you will all get to experience the general effect.
Ebert and Roeper gave this film THREE thumbs up!

Oh wait, one of those thumbs was a wart.
And now, your feature presentation....

Just two bits...

Wow, so last night's entry was rather depressing.
Good thing I feel 110% better today.

First off, I'd like to apologize to Beth, for not being honest with her about my keeping of this blog. But, she's such a forigiving spirit and puts up with a lot of my shit, so I know she still loves me.

Secondly, I will be posting a link to my good buddy Luke's blog, as he and I will be collaborative partners with stories, music and art, so I figure the linkage would probably be a good idea.
We're pretty much on the same level when it comes to everything, so check it out.

A silent melody...

Ever wake up in the middle of the night and just wondered: What the hell am I doing here?
Well, that's how I feel all the time.
But somewhere beyond my mind and beyond this world, there is a place where sleep never ends.
And in that place is where I belong.

I am 20 years old.
And all that I am, feels dead already.
My life consists of the music I make,
the lies I tell,
and the dreams I dream.
And my mind will always be restless.
My heart will always be sore.
My soul will never be convinced of its own existence.
Not until it all comes to an end.
Not until there is no more I can do about it.

I cannot stop the world from revolving.
I cannot survive doing what I love.
If it were entirely up to me, I would not allow myself to breathe another second.
But that would be unethical in our system.
And I allow myself to be part of that system.

Right at this hour, there is a child who has the same dreams as my own, the same spirit, the same gift of music...
But he lives in a 3rd world culture.
He cannot allow himself to learn the purpose of the keys on the piano.
He cannot envision his next orchestral composition.
All he wants is something to eat and some more comforting shoes.
He's so poor, he doesn't even know the gift he carries.
He wakes up every morning and whistles an original melody while he gathers dirty water from a creek.
And that whistling melody is not appreciated by anyone.
It is not recorded and shared with the rest of the world on MySpace.
It is kept to himself.

Yet, I'm pissed because I know I will never make it as a composer.
I'm pissed because my GPA is low because I am attending college to do a job I have no desire of doing.
All I'm appreciative of is the free shortstack I got to eat at Ihop this morning.

And there is a boy on the other side, who will die tomorrow, whistling the same tune I just made up on the piano today.
The same exact melody.
But he didn't get his short stack.
And tomorrow, he will die because he has no food.
And his song dies with him.

How lucky he is.
Uncorrupted by all the superficial nonsense I deal with every day.
I worry about how well I will do on my astronomy exam tomorrow.
He worries that tomorrow night, he won't even get to see the stars.
I worry that I will be stuck in the same damn place all my life.
He worries that tomorrow might be the last time he'll get to drink out of the piss-infested creek with his friends.

Our worlds are two completely opposite places.
But we both have the same song stuck in our head.
And the sickest part is,
tomorrow I will not have changed.